When I remember Margaret the word that comes into my mind is Love.  She was gentle, funny, witty and kind but most of all she was loving and greatly loved especially by her son Mark.  For those of us who were her friends that love showed in the form of chocolate digestive biscuits that always appeared with coffee or tea in the dining room (never in the kitchen) which is how she enjoyed looking after her guests as she wanted everyone around her to be comfortable and happy.  This is her story.

Margaret Cutter Pritchard was born in Sunderland on the 10th August 1932 during the great depression.  She was 3 years old when her parents, unable to find work, moved to London while she remained with her grandparents in Sunderland. She rarely saw her parents especially after World War Two began.  She often said this was a very lonely period in her life and that she would often pray for the Stork Bird to deliver her a baby sister or brother to keep her company, especially after she found out that her mother had miscarried only 18 months before she was born.

It was a hard childhood as her grandmother believed in ‘tough love’ teaching her to be independent and to learn to read from newspapers.  They were Baptists attending church on Sundays and afterwards Margaret would then walk almost 2 miles to Sunday School (not easy for a little girl to do especially during winter in Northern England).  It was here that she developed her strong belief in God which she never lost. 

She had two cousins May & Eileen who figured largely in her early years because they came to live with her at “Grandma’s house” following an unfortunate fatal accident of their own mother.  Margaret never forgot her uncle asking her “to look after his two little girls” when he went to sea in the merchant navy even though she was around the same age.  She never lost that sense of responsibility, love and care for them.

Margaret knew security but the separation she experienced from her parents as a young child led to her developing core values at an early age:  creating certainty, providing continuity and an abundance of care and love for family and friends.  It was that caring she showed towards everyone she met, initially at least because she wore her heart on her sleeve.

When her cousins joined her it filled the void of her missing parents but not for long.  Her uncle was killed in a bombing raid on his ship in Bari harbour in Italy.  Afterwards, both her cousins who then felt more like sisters, moved away to live with their stepmother and Margaret felt alone once more.   She rescued her first cat around this time and called him Blackey which gave her great comfort.

When the war ended Margaret was 13. She was reunited with her parents and lived with them near Harrow.  She was so happy during this time and had fond memories of spending quality time with both of them.  However, on a trip back to Sunderland she almost drowned when swimming in the sea with her father which always left her with a fear of water but it did not put her off entirely.  She loved being near the sea though not actually in it.

During her late teens she developed a love of acting, eventually attending drama school. She even auditioned alongside famous actors like David Niven (whom she really liked).  A lack of money meant she couldn’t continue to pay for drama lessons and that brought her acting career to an early end but she did get a small part in a film starring Diana Dors of which she was very proud.  Afterwards, she settled into working life as a secretary but it was always her greatest regret that she was unable to pursue her acting dream.

When Margaret was only 20, her father died unexpectedly from cancer at the young age of 47.  This hit hard and her natural caring nature meant that from then on she always stayed very close to her mother.  In 1952 she met Philip Edward Pritchard.   They were married in 1957 and remained in West London where Phillip worked in banking.  They both saved hard and were enormously proud when they bought their first house near Pinner.

On Boxing Day in December 1967 Margaret’s mother died aged 57.  Margaret was filled with a great sense of emptiness.  She had no sisters or brothers. The only connection to her own kin were her two cousins May and Eileen who were now busy with their own young families. The birth of her son Mark 4 months later gave her great joy, renewed focus but also some sadness that her own mother did not live quite long enough to see him. 

She thought about trying to have a second child but because of earlier complications decided the risk was too great.  She did not want Mark to grow up without a mother.  She became a full time Mum until he was about 4 years old when the family moved to High Wycombe in Buckinghamshire.  Margaret returned to work but drove or walked Mark to school every day and picked him up afterwards so that he always experienced the sense of security that was lacking in her own childhood.

Lyme Regis figured largely in their family life, Margaret and Philip spent their honeymoon there and it was their special place to which they returned for many holidays.  The family was close knit.  Mark’s memories are of a happy childhood with extraordinary high spots like Christmas mornings when he could not contain himself and would creep into their bedroom around 4.30am to urge them it was time to get up (he now realises they had probably only just gone to bed) and go downstairs to see what Santa Claus had left by the Christmas tree.

In 1982 Philip was promoted to become the representative for Midland Bank (HSBC) in China.  Mark was 14 years old when the family experienced the gut-wrenching split.  Margaret and Philip left for China and Mark went to boarding school at Aldenham in Hertfordshire.

Margaret was not allowed to work in Communist China so her life focused on Philip and some voluntary work teaching English.  She found it a tough posting because Beijing in the early 1980s was not glamorous and glitzy like Hong Kong or Singapore. 

The climate was harsh and the smog was almost unbearable.  As a family they explored parts of China inaccessible to most foreigners at that time. They thoroughly appreciated Chinese culture and art and travelled widely in Asia especially when Mark visited during school holidays.  As this was long before the internet Margaret wrote regularly to Mark, keeping him in touch with what was happening in China and letting him know he was still very much loved. 

In 1985 after more than 3 years abroad they returned to suburban life in High Wycombe.  Mark was now 17 years old and Margaret was happy to be back home with her re-united family. 

Soon afterwards unfortunately, Philip was made redundant and fell into a depression.  He smoked and drank heavily and developed diabetes.  With his overall health rapidly deteriorating he needed a heart triple bypass all of which created a great strain on the family.  As Mark’s education was unfinished in 1986 the family decided to move to Bethnal Green in London’s East End which was closer to the City so Philip and Margaret could find work more easily.  They lived in a converted town house within a former church and enjoyed good times here.

Margaret worked as a PA to the boss of a Japanese Bank and took the opportunity to eat Sushi whenever she could.  She appreciated the increased opportunities this job gave her as she adored being in London with its rich history, culture, architecture and ready access to museums and theatres.  She also adopted her second black cat during this time and called her Tinker.

8 years later they began to look for their dream home in Dorset.  In 1994 they moved to Bridport which is close to Lyme Regis.  Margaret used to say their home was exactly what she had always wanted with spacious rooms and a good kitchen and garden.  It was on the edge of town and at that time surrounded by green fields and cattle.  She loved animals especially horses and enjoyed watching the cows when they came up to the garden fence looking for attention or maybe just to eat the roses.

As houses crowded in around them Philip and Margaret planted trees and turned their garden into a peaceful sanctuary.  She used to tell me how much Philip loved their home.  

Margaret always enjoyed travelling.  She fell in love with the Italian lakes especially Lake Garda and Lake Como.  She liked to reminisce about her happy times travelling there with Phillip.  They were planning a cruise to Alaska and Canada in early 2000 when sadly Philip passed away in October 1999 so Mark got lucky and went with Margaret instead. 

This was the first of 9 cruises Margaret and Mark enjoyed together, followed by others to the Mediterranean, the Baltic, Greek Islands and the Canaries with their last trip to the Norwegian Fjords only 7 weeks before Margaret sadly passed away.  On this their last cruise together Mark decided to push the boat out so to speak by upgrading their cabin to a suite with their very own butler where they could enjoy daily canapés and champagne.  They ate all their meals in their own dining / living room or on their balcony with Margaret enjoying her favourite Norwegian Salmon every day and sometimes even twice a day.

Margaret didn’t want to leave the home she made with Philip and wouldn’t even change his car which she drove until she was 85 years old.  She loved her garden where she spent many hours, even in the week before she died, planting flowers into pots and tubs with her carers, much to Mark’s dismay as he didn’t like the continual maintenance and mess that would inevitably follow afterwards.  Now, he realises how pretty the garden looks and will endeavour to do some planting of his own in future.  2 years before Margaret passed she acquired her third cat Rosie and insisted on feeding her every morning before having breakfast herself.  

Margaret was sad when Mark’s job took him to Malaysia between 2011 - 2015.  She would have preferred him to have remained in England but she knew he had his own life to lead and never prevented him from following his own path.  Mark always kept in close contact with her and also took all of his annual holiday back in the UK returning 3 times per year where they even managed to fit in a cruise on one occasion.  Margaret would then travel back with him to Kuala Lumpur for New Year and would stay until the end of February.

In 2016 Mark moved to a new job in Thailand which gave him more flexibility so he could spend 4 to 6 weeks at home during each visit instead of only 2 weeks previously.  Margaret still found being separated from Mark by over 6,000 miles very hard to deal with especially when she was getting older but mobile phones and CCTV did make life easier to stay in touch on a daily basis. 

Alone in Bridport, Margaret’s life became a routine of driving and walking for her weekly food shopping and occasionally meeting up with a friend for lunch or tea.

During the last 3 years her life became a patchwork of increasingly disturbing anxious experiences as the irritating realities of getting older disrupted her days and dementia gradually set in.

In May 2017 Mark realised that he had to get his Mum professional help which was easier said than done.  However, slowly but surely he got her to see the right people that could properly diagnose her condition.  Margaret was very reluctant to let go of control because she was a very proud and dignified lady however, after 18 months of assessment in September 2018 it was the right time to introduce the carers who would remain with her until the end.  Slowly but surely they became her best friends as they encouraged her to try different things enriching her life so it became less of a struggle.  Trips out for tea or coffee and sometimes cake, visits to the garden centre, craft centre and to the seaside at Westbay and of course some food shopping at Waitrose (Margaret’s favourite local store) became normal weekly events.  At home Margaret learned how to make felt flowers and decorate wooden animals with colourful tissue paper although, due to increasingly poor dexterity she missed not being able to do her artificial flower arranging.

In December 2018 Mark returned home as her full time carer and even managed to cook Christmas dinner for the very first time at the tender age of 50, well it was actually lamb and not turkey.  Mark told me that he was so grateful to have had the opportunity to finally to do this for his MUM.

The arc of Margaret’s life from the 1930’s depression through World War Two into our present political chaos focused on her family especially Mark.  There was always a golden thread of love joining both their hearts however, sometimes their unique personalities would inevitably get in the way of each other and as families do, they ended up arguing but Mark always remembers his Mum’s forgiving nature and willingness to repair any rifts very quickly with kindness and love even though it was usually his fault ………… but not always his fault :)

Eventually Margaret could not recognise people, sometimes not even Mark, but nevertheless she continued to be a welcoming, kind, gentle and loving soul with occasional flashes of razor sharp wit.  During her final year Margaret’s carers together with Mark made sure she could remain at home where she felt the most comfortable, happy and safe.

Margaret knew there was only one thing that really mattered in this life and that was LOVE which Mark always felt whenever they shared a hug. She said her main reason for living was to take care of him which she did so well and of course he will miss her the most because she is irreplaceable.

She never wanted to be a burden to anyone especially Mark, and she never was as she always wanted him to be happy and free.  Therefore, through her own loving nature of always putting others first, she knew when the time was right to say goodbye (albeit there is never a right time, simply a time where Margaret felt would be the easiest for everyone), and that time was when she could be together with Mark by her side holding his hand, with him whispering in her ear that he loved her so very much and will always love her forever more.

Sam, a loving friend.

Love and Light for the Highest Good dearest Margaret